Jewel Swap
by Inubaby66
Summary: Ok so Kikiyo finaly gives Inu Yasha the Jewel, but it's not the shikon no tama. So she puts a curse on the non sacred jewel so that anyone who eats will say exactly what they are really feeling! Please read this!


  
  
Disclaimer's Note- Me-"Ha, ha, ha! Inu Yasha's finally mine I control him! Mwahahaha!" Person who made Inu Yasha- "No they're not you freak! Now, get a life. OTHER THAN ANIME!!!" Me-"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Just read the story *sniff*. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Chapter 1:Getting the jewel  
"Kikiyo, give me the shikon no tama so I can kill other demons faster, and become all powerful Inu Yasha! Mwahahaha!" Inu Yasha pleaded, while sniffing the jewel.  
"NO!" Kikiyo screamed. "But, perhaps, if you get down on your hands and knees and beg! Yes, beg puppy, beg! Ha, ha, ha!!"  
Inu Yasha fell to his knees, and actually began to beg. "Please, please, please, please, PLEASE!!!!!!!!" He cried.  
"AHHHHH! I didn't think you'd actually do it!" Kikiyo gasped, while shaking him off of her leg. "And by the way, no."  
"Please?!"  
"NO."  
"Please?!"  
"NO."  
"Please?!"  
"Fine"  
"PLEASE?!" Ignorant Inu Yasha asked.  
Inu Yasha."  
"PLEASE?!"  
"Inu Yasha, I already said yes!"  
"So." Inu Yasha inched closer. "can I just take now?" With that, Kikiyo dropped a jewel into his palm. "Yippy!" he yelled and ran away.  
"Yes. Yippy indeed. H, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha." A near by villager hit her in the head with a brick. "Owwww!" *twich twitch*.  
15 minutes later  
"YES!!!!!!!" Inu Yasha yelled in joy. "It's finally mine.ALL MINE!!!" With that Miroku pounced on Inu Yasha and stole the jewel.  
"What's this. *gasp* did you finally get all the shikon shards?" Miroku questioned, while sniffing the sacred jewel. "Mmm. it's smells sweet.like Sango.mmm." Inu Yasha and Sango both whacked purple pervert in the head, and Inu Yasha snatched the jewel back from Miroku's hand.  
"Inu Yasha, you got the jewel! Well. ya know, we've kinda been having a problem finding Naraku, so. Maybe if we all cut it up and have a piece it'll lure the bastard to us!" Sango pleaded, but accomplished absolutely nothing.  
"NO!" Inu Yasha screamed. "You moochers get absolutely nothing! And." Inu Yasha got cut off; when Miroku was already cutting the jewel that he had stolen like a thieving little monkey.  
"Hey! What do ya think yer doin?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" he yelled. "That's mine." Inu Yasha whimpered, but it was too late. "grrrr! I'm gonna beat you like.like. SOMETHING THAT GETS BEATEN UP!" The poor hanyo stammered, But just than Kagome waltzed in to the village with Shippou.  
"Hey. What is up gang?!" Shippou said, trying to be cool (BUT HE'S NOT, HE'S JUST AN ADORABLE, ANNOYING FOX) While Inu Yasha just stared in disgust.  
What's goin' on?" Kagome asked.  
"Well." Miroku started. "InuyashafoundtheshikonjewelandnowwereallgonnaeatitsowecanlureNarakuoverhere sowecanbeathimupandthanShippoucameandstartedtalkinweirdandwe'reallgonnastare athimindisgustandwaitfortheakwardsilencetostopwhenI'mdonetalking!" Miroku spoke fast and with slurred speech.  
*Awkward silence*  
Well. That was certiantaly interesting. Um can me and Shipppou have some of the jewel too?" Kagome smiled and looked chibi style so she'd get her way.  
"NO!" Inu Yasha yelled, but no one listened they already cutting the sacred jewel. "huh? Hey give me some!" He demanded.  
They all ate their shard of the jewel, and that's when the trouble of Kikiyo's wretched curse began.  
Chapter 2: Kikiyo's wretched curse began (an uncanny likeness of the last sentence of my last chapter, how ironic!)  
  
Everyone looks unbearably bored. "So.How long until Naraku gets lured in and.ooooh, I feel all, tingly!" Sango blurted out.  
"Yeah! Me too!" Kagome yelled, and so did everyone else.  
*20 minutes Later, the jewel starts to really kick in, and they all say what they are really feeling.on the inside. Miroku was muttering something in the corner, while everyone else was singing church songs. "I. am.The famous detective.FIFI!" the monk bursted out, and stuck his magnifying glass on Sango's butt.  
"GET OFF OF ME MIROKU!!!" Sango yelled.  
"It's Fifi."  
"Miroku."  
"FIFI!!!"  
"MIROKU!!!" they continued with that argument while Inu Yasha and Kagome were having a very.intellectual conversation *yeah right*  
Kagome sat there popping her lips *cuz she really doesn't think!*  
"I think yer cat is sexy Kagome." Inu Yasha suddenly said.  
"WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"*Twitch twitch* Kagome inquired, with an insane, insaneness.  
"Oh, don't worry, yer still.third, no I mean, yer still fourth best!" Inu Yasha smiled.  
"WHAT?!?!?! WHO BEAT ME?!?!?!" Kagome puffed.  
"Well." Inu Yasha began. "1. Buyo. 2. Kirara. 3. Ramen. And 4. You!" He reassured (but it didn't work).  
Kagome was still puffing like a deranged squirrel when Shipppou came skipping along the yellow brick road. "Hey my love Kagome, did I ever tell you that everything you say is ABSOLUTELY right, and everything Inu Yasha says is ABSOLUTELY wrong!" Shippou stated in his annoying little voice.  
Kagome was still panting heavily. "Shippou." Her voice was full of revulsion towards Shippou. "You stupid little cow, I've got a secret." "O0O0O0O0O0H WHAT?"  
"Well.I'm gonna kill you, hee hee hee!!!" She said as she cackled like the wicked witch of the West (wait, is Japan in the west.uh.oh well, just read the rest of the story).  
"Come my dear Foo Foo, we must spy on the girls. Mmmmm." The foolish monk demanded, with his magnifying glass still on Sango's ass (o0o0oh that rhymes. I'm so clever!).  
"WHAT?!?! WHO'S FOO FOO?!?!" Inu Yasha yelled out  
"You are. Have you gone bloody mad?" Miroku said with a freaky British accent.  
"But I don't wanna be Foo Foo." Inu Yasha whined. "Besides, the only girl I want to be lookin at is Kagome!" he clarified. "Wait! Did I say that out loud? I can't let people know that I love Kagome, cuz every time I get close to some one they all run away! Whaaaaaa! Am I destined to be alone? And I don't even like Kikyo!" (But he really loves the author, which is ME!)  
"cuz yer a meanie pants!" Shippou added.  
"yer so0o0o0o0 stupid!" Inu Yasha yelled.  
"*gasp* you said the S word!" declared the moronic fox  
"What's the S word?" he inquired. "What, stupid?"  
*gasp*  
"STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!" Inu Yasha yelled.  
*gasp* "You .you. AHHHHHHHHHH!*Shippou runs out the window screaming, than falls and hits his head*  
"I thought we were out side.HOW IS THERE A WINDOW?" Sango asked.  
"cuz this stupid author person is bein stupid!" Inu Yasha said.  
"ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh" Shippou screamed. "He keeps on swearing! Kagome make him stop!" He whined.  
"Ugh. You are still a stupid, whiney cow! I hate you! Just shut up, and.Hey where'd Inu Yasha go?" Kagome yelled, than questioned. Annd Shippou was rolling on the ground because Kagome "swore" (As Shippou puts it).  
*Inu Yasha springs out of a separate room with a basket full of pink flower petals* "Hello everyone! Since I always push everyone away, and never show my true love for you guys, I'm gonna give all gifts!" He smiled and skipped to Shippou, who was still rolling on the ground. "Here Shitto...uh I mean precious Shipppou, have this candy bar!"  
"CANDY, CANDY, CANDY!"  
"Yes my precious little WORTHLESS PIECE OF CRAP eat the candy!" Inu Yasha tried to contain his pure hatred for Shippou in balance (another thing we have in common, pure hatred for Shippou ^_^)  
"This is an odd action that Inu Yasha is performing, this looks like a job for *dun da da dun* super detective Fi Fi!" Miroku shouted out.  
"Kagome, may I kiss you, and suck the blood from your vain?!?!" Miyoga burst out from Inu Yasha's kimono, with a few blood stained on his lips. "Master Inu Yasha, I don't know what you are putting into your system, but it makes me feel so free, and... so pretty! I am pretty, oh so pretty.uh.la la la la!" Miyoga, began to dance like a pretty ballerina, an, oh so pretty ballerina!  
Inu Yasha looks around the room dazed and quickly sapped out of his random acts of kindness. "Hey, what.OH GOD! IS MIYOGA DRESSED LIKE A GIRL AN DANCIN LIKE A BALLERINA?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" Inu Yasha yelled.  
"Master Inu Yasha, I'm very pretty!" Miyoga stated with a little twirl, and than fell out the window.  
"Well.That was interesting. Hey where are Sango and Miroku" Kagome questioned, and they both looked around. They saw: Shippou, still rolling on the floor, nut now with candy, Miyoga, out the window twitching, Kikiyo still laughing *and gets hit in the head with another brick* and Sango and Miroku makin' out.  
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Inu Yasha and Kagome screamed together.  
"Miroku, what the hell are you doin down Sango's shirt?!?!?!?1 Inu Yasha yelled wanting to gaud out his eyes.  
"Detective Fi Fi first of all! And all I was doin was. uh.I. wanted.uh.investigate." Miroku answered. "At least I like girls!" He yelled.  
"I like girls! Especially Kagome!!!! I'm madly in love with her!" Inu Yasha shouted back.  
Kagome didn't hear any of that; instead she just sat there, looking into space and drooling. "I want to be astronaut." She randomly stated. "Whooooosh! Swoooosh! Blast off!" Everyone looked at her like she was insane.  
"Having fun Inu Yasha?" Kikiyo smirked.  
"* barks like a dog* Sorry bout that! What'd you do to us Kikiyo?!?!?!" Inu Yasha roared.  
"Well, I put a curse on that jewel I gave you so you'd say exactly what you are really thinking!" Kikiyo answered.  
"*gasp!* that's it! Suit up gang! Perverted Fi Fi ready?" Miroku was still makin out with Sango. "Ugh. Sango?" Sango was making out with Miroku. "Kagome?" Kagome was still making freaky astronaut sounds. "Ugh. I guess it's up to you and me Shippou. *sigh*  
"Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha! What a pathetic team you have! Mwahahahahahahahaha." Before Kikiyo could finish, the nearby villager attacks her.  
"I just can't take it anymore!" Cried the villager.  
And they all lived happily ever after.after spitting up the jewel. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Chapter 3. Afterward  
  
Afterward, Inu Yasha and Kagome did NOT get together! Instead, Inu Yasha and ME get together! Miroku became detective Fi Fi (at least in side of his mind) and gets married to Sango! Shippou is still annoying, Kikiyo got beaten up by the crazed villager, and made a remake of the Rocky Horror Picture Show (starring him) and we all live happily ever after.the end!!! 


End file.
